Remember Me
by EnchantedSailorBella
Summary: I sat across the room from her as she slept. It had been weeks since the accident. "Edward," she whispered in her sleep. The only hope that I still had that she remembered. A/H
1. The Accident

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All recognizable characters belong to SM

* * *

I looked down at my beautiful wife in a panic. How could this have happened? I'd looked away from the road for a moment, and now she lay, an unconscious angel in my arms. She'd asked me to look back at the road, but I couldn't resist the temptation of looking into her hypnotizing brown eyes.

My vision blurred and I wiped away the tears that were beginning to spill over. I was breaking out in a cold sweat. This could not be happening, this could not be happening.

I tried to distract myself from my panic by going into medical mode. My years in the hospital helped me to achieve my goal. I ran my hands over her body searching for anything out of place, needing to look at her as if she were anyone else. I needed her to not be the woman I loved right now, because if she was, it might just kill me. I pushed away those thoughts and continued my examination. Her right leg might have been broken from where the other car collided with her.

I winced at the memory and moved on. She had some major scrapes on her right arm and I had a feeling that there was glass that needed to be removed. There were some shallow scrapes along her cheek, and she was bleeding profusely from a spot just above her hair line. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that head wounds merely bled more than most.

The frantic husband part of me was slowly being calmed by my medical experience as the ambulence appeared. Nurse Cheney jumped out of the back and ran toward me with the stretcher. "Dr. Cullen, hurry. We've got everything ready at the hospital."

I picked Bella up and placed her on the stretcher and helped Angela lift it into the ambulance. Once in the back myself, the driver pulled a quick u-ey and headed for the hospital.

I was glad it was Angela in the back with me. She had been a friend to Bella since college and was working extremely hard to make sure that nothing was forgotten in taking care of my Bella. Her eyes locked with mine for a moment. "Dr. Cullen, are you hurt?"

I shook my head, unable to form any words at the moment. She nodded and turned all her attention back to Bella. I tried to help her, but she quickly had everything under control.

"Edward," Angela's husband caught my attention from the front seat. I hadn't even noticed that he was the one driving. "She's going to be okay."

"I know, Ben. Doesn't stop me from worrying about her, though." I looked down at Bella. I was relieved to see that her breathing was constant. I increased the pressure I was placing on her hands and prayed to some higher power that they wouldn't take her from me. They couldn't. I couldn't lose my Bella.

Angela's hand covered mine. I looked up at her, tears blurring my vision. "She'll be fine. She's already stable, Edward."

I nodded and gave her my best watery smile, "You're right, I know you're right. I just need to see her open her eyes. I need to hear her say something." I closed my eyes and leaned down to press my lips to her fingertips. Please, please, please, don't take her away from me. I have never asked you for anything in my life, and there is nothing in the world that can hurt me worse than losing Bella.

There are no words for the relief that I felt the moment that we pulled around to the back of hospital. My father was pacing in front of the door waiting for us. I hadn't realized that he was on duty tonight, but I felt that some of my prayers were being answered. My father would never let anything happen to her. He loved her too.

The doors flew open and he was helping me pull her out. The stretcher was on the ground for mere seconds before it was moving. As we were running her to the ER and my father turned to me. "Edward, you need to stay out here."

I shook my head vehemently. "No, I'm staying with Bella." I wasn't going to leave her.

"Edward, you're too close to the situation." He placed a hand on my chest and shoved lightly, still not slowing his pace or Bella's forward motion to surgery. "You need to call Alice and let her know that you're going to be late. Then call your mother and tell her that I'm going to be late. I'll take care of Bella. I promise, she'll be fine."

I trusted my father completely. He would do everything possible, humanly and beyond, to save the woman that I loved. And though it hurt to do it, with one last look at Bella, I let them go. She **WAS** going to be okay. I just had to keep telling myself that.

I took a few deep breaths and turned away from the room that now held the woman that I loved. I walked down the hallway in a daze, trying my hardest to push away the images that would now forever be burned into my mind. I stepped into the waiting room and did as my father had told me. I pulled out my phone and began to make some calls.

My sister was first. She and her husband Jasper had been babysitting the kids tonight. I thought about Renesmee and Mason as the phone rang. Alice picked up on the fourth ring. "Edward, where are you? You told me you were leaving the restaurant like an hour ago. Renesmee refuses to go to sleep until you get home and I've been having a strange feeling since I got your message."

I sighed. Alice didn't know how to shut up. "Alice I'm at the hospital."

"What? Why? Where's Bella? Let me talk to her." Alice spoke about a mile a minute. "Put her on the phone now, Edward."

"Alice," my voice faltered. "We were in an accident. Last time I saw Bella, she was unconscious. Dad's with her in the ER right now. I'm going to be late getting back so put Renesmee on the phone."

"Edward, are you sure?" She sounded calm, but hesitant. I knew that she was holding back her emotions so that no one on the other end of the line would catch on to what we were talking about. "We don't need to worry her."

"I'm not going to tell her, Alice." I nearly rolled my eyes. I might be upset at the moment, but that doesn't affect the need I felt to protect my daughter. "I just need to make sure that she goes to sleep. Everything will be alright." I was trying to convince myself more than her.

I heard Alice call my eldest to the phone. "Daddy?"

"Hey, Nessie. Are you being good for Auntie Alice?" I tried to not to choke on my words. She may be young, but Renesmee picked up on so many things.

"Yes, but, Daddy, you said you'd be home. Where are you?"

I took a deep breath. I couldn't lie to her, but I couldn't tell her the whole truth either. "Mommy and I are going to be late, so I'm not going to be able to tuck you into bed tonight. I wanted to say goodnight and I love you now."

"Can I talk to Mommy before I go to bed?"

The choking feeling was in my throat again, so I cleared my throat and moved on. "Not right now, but she loves you too."

"Okay, I love you Daddy."

I sighed, relieved that my daughter took my excuses so easily. "I love you too baby. Be a good girl and go back to bed."

I could hear the shuffling sound that occurs when the phone switches hands as well as soft footfalls. "Edward, when will you be back?" Alice sounded worried. I could understand. Alice and Bella had been best friends growing up.

"I don't know, Alice." I scrubbed my hand over my face in frustration. "I'll try to get back tonight, but I need to make sure that Bella's alright."

I heard a soft sob from the other end of the line, "She has to be alright."

"Alice, she will be. She has to be." I growled at myself. I couldn't sit here and talk about it anymore with Alice. She loved Bella nearly as much as I did, and that only made me more worried. More people that would be hurt if she were to...I couldn't even think about it. "I need to call Mom. Dad wants her to know he'll be late."

"Okay," she hesitated, not wanting to let go of the one line of connection that she had to knowing about Bella at the moment. "Call me as soon as you know something."

"I will Alice, I promise." It took a little more time to get her to hang up. I prayed that Jasper would be able to keep her calm until I was able to get her good news.

The conversation with Mom didn't last very long. We were on the phone just long enough to get her the details, and then she was on her way. She burst through the doors and pulled me into her arms. "Edward, she's going to be alright. God, would not take her from you and the kids. She will pull through." I took comfort from my mother. She'd always known how to calm my nerves.

"Mom, I can't live without her." I whispered into her shoulder.

"Shhh," she scratched my scalp like she did when I was a kid. "She'll be fine. Your dad won't let anything happen to her."

As if on cue, my father emerged into the waiting room. She dropped her arms, but took my hand and we both walked determinately up to him. "Dad?"

He held up his hand up to stop me. The look on his face worried me. "She's fine, Edward. She's even awake."

I nearly cried for the joy that was coursing through my body. I had not lost her. My world, my life, my reason for existing was not taken from me. "Where is she? I need to see her."

My father studied my face for a few moments. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Edward."

Fear hit my stomach with a driving force. "Why not? Is she mad at me? Oh my God, she's mad at me. She told me to slow down. She's mad that I nearly got her killed." I winced at the words. She had every right to be mad at me. I was furious with myself.

My dad dropped his hand to my shoulder to distract me. "It's not that, son. When she opened her eyes, she," he hesitated, squinting his eyes as if looking for the right words on my face. "She didn't recognize me."

My mind rejected the words, but the answer slipped through my lips before I could comprehend. "Amnesia?"

He nodded, "I'm afraid so. I don't know how we want to approach this."

It only took me a few seconds to push through the haze. "I need to see her, Dad. I need to see with my own eyes that she's alright. I can't be away from her for another minute."

He nodded, "She's been moved into one of the rooms on the third floor. I'll take you to her."

I followed my father up to the room that held my love. He turned to me when we got the door. "She's probably not awake, but if she is, you don't want to overwhelm her. She's going to be confused enough as it is."

I ran my hand through my hair, tugging on the ends, and bit into my bottom lip hard, trying to wake myself up. This couldn't really be happening. I would wake up soon, and Bella would be curled into my like she always is. These type of things weren't supposed to happen in real life. They were supposed to stay in the soap operas.

"What have you told her?" I didn't want to be separated from her any longer, but I needed to know how she would receive me.

"I told her that her name was Isabella Cullen and that she'd been in an accident. That's all she really knows."

I nodded and finally walked past him and into the room. I could feel my parents behind me, but that didn't matter because I could see my beautiful wife as she lay sleeping. Her breathing was steady and her lips were slightly parted. I ran my fingers through her hair. She sighed in her sleep, "Edward," she moaned as her lips turned up into a slight smile.

My dad was at my side immediately, "It doesn't mean anything, Edward." He didn't want to me get any false hope.

"I know." But I smiled anyway. It felt normal. In all the anxiety, it felt nice to hear my name fall from her lips as if it were any night.

I let my eyes drift regretfully from her. "What do we do?"

My parents were watching my Bella carefully. My dad finally spoke. "For now, all we can do is wait."

I dropped my head and placed a kiss gently on her forehead. "I love you, my Bella." _And I am so so sorry._ I said the last part in my head because my parents would never let me get away with blaming myself. But it was my fault. It was all my fault. It was my fault that she had been hurt in the first place, and now she couldn't even remember me to tell me off for blaming myself as I knew she would.

My mother was watching me. "You need to get home, dear. The children will wonder where you are."

I pushed back a few stands of Bella's hair. "What will I tell them about Bella?"

She took my hand and forced me to look at her. "You'll tell them that she's with me, which she will be. I promise you Edward, I will always be here when you're not."

I kissed her cheek, "Thank you, Mom. I'll be back in the morning." It was one of those moments when I was glad that I was a doctor. My job required me to be close to her.

I let my fingers trail Bella's cheek once more before turning away in hopes that everything would be alright.


	2. At Home

When I finally got home from the hospital, I found that Alice had passed out against Jasper. He looked up at me from the TV as I walked through the door. "How is she?"

"Stable, she was asleep when I left." I dropped into the chair, my face falling into my hands. I didn't have the strength to hold it up under the pressure of the world anymore. "She doesn't remember." I whispered.

Jasper was concentrating on me carefully. Usually, Jasper can sense my emotions, but I must have been too tired for him to sense anything else, "What doesn't she remember?"

"Anything Jazz. She has amnesia." I tried to breathe through the pain. My wife didn't remember me, our life, or our children. How could I get through this? How could anyone get through this?

I felt a small hand on my knee and I looked up into the eyes of my little sister. "She's alive, Edward. We'll get her to remember."

I pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms tightly around me. "Edward, do you want me to stay tonight?" The words were whispered into my shoulder.

I pulled back to look at her. She had been stressed most of the night, and she looked exhausted. "No, Alice." The pad of my thumb brushed her cheek. She was an amazing sister. She'd been here for me when I needed her most. "You should go home and sleep. I'll need your help to get her to remember."

She kissed my forehead and pulled away from me. "I'll come to the hospital tomorrow. Have you called Charlie?"

I shook my head. "I haven't really been thinking tonight. I'll have to call him in the morning. Or maybe I can get someone in the office to take care of it. There's no reason to call him at 3 o'clock in the morning if she's okay." Besides that, I wasn't sure that I wanted to talk to him. He had never really been my biggest fan. When Bella and I went to high school, he thought that I was just a phase that she was going through. He always thought that she would give up on me and move onto his best friend's son, Jacob Black. Even now, he believed that she'd realize that she didn't love me and leave. I didn't need to add any more ammunition to the fire.

Alice squeezed my shoulder, bringing me back from my daze and nodded her head toward the stairs. I realized that Mason was crying.

I smiled up at her, though I knew that she could see right through it, and stood, heading toward the stairs. Before I reached the stairs, though I turned back to tell them goodbye. "You two go home. I'll take care of him."

Jasper stood up and put his arm around his wife to steady her. She seemed exhausted in more ways than I had ever known her to be. "Are you sure? We don't need to go."

"I'm sure, Jasper." I smiled at both of them, though I knew it wasn't convincing. I just wanted my sister to get some rest. It was terrible to see her like this.

They both smiled back up at me and turned from the room. I watched them leave as I headed up the stairs.

I reached the door to the nursery, walked in and gently pulled Mason from his crib. "Hey there big guy." I began to rock him gently, doing the little bounce walk that I did almost every night at about this time. Mason had his own internal alarm clock, and he never saw pressing the snooze button as an option.

"How about we go downstairs and get you some milk." He looked up at me with the green eyes so much like my own. He seemed to understand because his cries quieted at the idea. "That's my big boy."

I continued to gently rock him as I headed down to the kitchen. We had formula prepared in the fridge next to some breast milk. We were slowly switching Mason over. I picked up the milk, feeling a need to bring both Mason and I closer to her, and ran warm water over the bottle.

I noticed that while I had been running the water, Mason had stopped making any sound at all. I glanced down to see him looking around the room. "She's not here, Mason." He looked at me with pleading eyes. I placed the bottle at his lips and he took it. "She's sick big boy. I don't know when she's going to be able to come home."

"Mommy's sick?" I looked up to see Renesmee as she walked into the kitchen, trailing her blanket behind her. Her thumb was hanging in mid air like she was going to place it in her mouth. "Where's Mommy?"

I had to hold back the tears. I didn't know what to tell her, or what she could handle. I took a deep breath and sat down at one of the kitchen chairs and told her what my mother told me to. "She's with Grandma and Grandpa. They're going to help make her all better."

"You're a doctor, Daddy." Renesmee looked up at me like I had all the answers in the world. Like I could fix anything. "Why can't you make her better?"

I kissed her forehead and looked her in the eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes of her mother's. A tear trailed down my cheek and she reached up and caught it. "Daddy, don't be sad." It was amazing how she could go from baby to parent. She saw that I needed comforting and immediately tried to help me. "Grandma and Grandpa will make Mommy all better."

I smiled through my tears, "I know sweetie. I just don't like when any of you get sick. You are my whole world."

Renesmee smiled, showing me her dimples. "Daddy, will you come tuck me in?"

"Yes, just let me put Mason to bed first." I looked down into Mason's sleepy eyes. He'd almost emptied the bottle. "Why don't you go to the bathroom and I'll meet you in your room?"

"Okay, Daddy." I watched her head up the stairs. I needed to get Bella back. This family could not survive without her. I could not survive without her.

Mason gently pushed the bottle away and I placed it on the table. Patted his back softly until he released the excess air. Then I took him back to his room, gently rocking him the whole way. I could still remember a time when Bella and I had no idea what we were doing. When something as simple as the bouncing walk was beyond our comprehension.

I placed Mason in his crib and watched his eyes close quickly. He shouldn't be up again before the sun. That would give me a chance to attempt to find sleep.

I made my way to Renesmee's room and found her bent over her desk. I walked closer, trying to catch a glimpse at what she was doing. She was working furiously with a piece of paper and crayons. "Nessie, sweetie, what are you doing"

She folded up the piece of paper and held it out to me. "I want you to give this to Mommy. It's a Get Well card."

I scooped her up in my arms and kissed her forehead. "Mommy will love this." I took the card from her and took her to her bed. I pulled back the covers and placed her on her bed. Tucking the blanket around her like a burrito, I kissed her forehead again. "Goodnight, sweetie. I love you."

Her smile was interrupted by a huge yawn. "I love you too, Daddy."

I walked from the room, leaving the door open a crack so that Renesmee wouldn't be left in the dark, and went to my room to change.

I turned on the light and looked around the room, immediately wishing that I hadn't. Everything reminded me of Bella. The bed in which we'd slept together for the past three years that we'd lived here. The closet that was filled to the brim with clothing that Bella would roll her eyes, given to her by Alice. The small desk that we had moved in here after we found out that Bella was pregnant with Mason and changed the office into a nursery. I couldn't look anywhere without being reminded of her.

And as if that wasn't enough, it was a mess from us getting dressed before we went out tonight. I chuckled at the memory. Even after five years, I couldn't resist taking her against the drawers….and the closet….and the desk before we even went out on our first date since our son was born. We just couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. We'd been late for our reservations so we didn't have time to clean up.

I took off my suit and placed it on Bella's chair. It would need to go to the dry cleaners. I didn't know if they knew how to get blood out. I pushed that thought from my mind. I had spent too much time thinking about this. I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt and turned off the light.

I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep tonight. I was exhausted, but I couldn't fall asleep without her. I crawled into the bed and rolled onto her side, burying my face into her pillow. The smell of her shampoo overwhelmed me.

I lay in the bed as the sun began to come through the window at 6 o'clock. The alarm went off and I pulled myself from the bed. I forced myself through my morning routine knowing that I would soon be able to see Bella. With any luck, I'd be able to switch out some of my patients with some of the other doctors in hope to get more time with her.

Renesmee bounded down the stairs to the kitchen where I was making coffee. "Daddy, do I get to see Jacob today?"

I looked up and worked my face into a smile. Jacob was her best friend. He was the son of Sam and Emily. Emily worked with Bella at the vet's office. They had worked out a car pool so they saved gas for both the daycare and work. "Of course you will. They'll be here to pick you up soon."

As I was getting Mason ready, the doorbell rang. I picked Mason up, slung his diaper bag over my shoulder, and carried him to the door. I was greeted by a frantic Emily who threw her arms around my neck, pulling me close but being careful of Mason who was still in my arms. "Alice called me. Are you okay? Is there anything new? How is she?"

"Shh, she doesn't know." I pulled back and gestured to Renesmee with a nod of my head, who was running strait for Jacob. "She's fine physically. I'm hoping the amnesia is short termed. I don't know how to live without her."

Emily squeezed my shoulder, and gave me a weak smile. "We're here if you need us. I'll pick the kids up after I leave the office. When do you get off work?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, a habit I'd picked up from Bella, as I tried to figure out how long I would be able to stay with my wife. "I'm not sure. I'm going to spend as much time there as I can. I need her back."

She nodded, sympathetic smile firmly in place. "I'll call Alice. I'm sure she'll bring them here when she gets off work."

"Thank you, Emily. I'm not sure how I'd get through today without your help."

Emily looked into my eyes pleadingly, "Just promise me we'll get her back."

I mustered up all the conviction that I could find. "I promise." I would do it. There was no other option.

With that she took Mason and turned back to the car. I watched her go and could think about nothing but Bella. Everyone she had ever met cared about her. The whole city would be freaking out until she was okay.

Thinking about her made me anxious. I needed to see her. The physical separation was going to kill me. I was quickly in her car and on the way to the hospital. My Volvo had been destroyed last night and I couldn't do anything but take her ridiculous old truck. The thing was old before we were born. I wished she'd let me replace the stupid thing. It looked like it would break down if you looked at it wrong.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was at the hospital. I pulled into my spot hoping that no one would try to have it toed since I never drove this car to work, and sped through the hospital to Bella's room. There was a note on her chart hanging from the door.

Ed,  
I'm taking all your patients. Bring her back.  
-Em

I owed Emmett big time. We had been residents together and he'd become a brother to me. He was as protective of Bella as a big brother. She'd refer to him as Brother Bear. If I wasn't already married to her, he'd probably disapprove of me being with her. He believed that nobody was good enough for her. And he couldn't have been more right.

I opened the door and was greeted by those beautiful, warm, chocolate, brown eyes.


	3. Awake

She smiled at me. My heart did a small flip as I watched her lips curve up and her deep chocolate eyes sparkle slightly. It was so beautiful and I would give anything in the world to keep that smile in place.

"Good Morning, Doctor," she said sweetly.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Cullen." The use of the term Mrs. brought the most beautiful blush to her face.

She looked up through those incredibly long lashes. It took everything I had not to cross the room to kiss her eyelids, so thankful to finally see them open. "Are you the one who's going to help me reclaim my memory?"

"I hope so," I was trying not to watch the way the hospital gown hung around her body. The thin material making every curve visible.

"Doctor," she hesitated, "will you tell me your name?"

I had to think for a moment. Her calling me Dr. Cullen was something we only did as foreplay. I could not handle that here in the hospital. My body would certainly react. I also did not want her calling me Edward. When my name fell from her lips, it needed to be my Bella saying it. "Why don't you call me Anthony?" It was my middle name.

"Okay, Anthony." The name didn't sound right. I could tell by the way that her lips formed around the name that she knew something wasn't right about it. She watched me as I walked around the room. I was studying her chart to avoid studying her. "Anthony," she stuttered slightly, and I could tell that she was trying to figure out why it didn't sound right, "can you tell me about my life?"

I didn't look up from her chart, "I know that you love it."

"How do you know that?" She sounded a little shocked.

I looked up at her over the clipboard in my hand, "Because you told me so."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she artfully raised an eyebrow at me. "What if I was lying?"

I scoffed at her, "You are a terrible liar."

"So we know each other?" She was digging for information.

"Yes, Bella, we do" I looked back down at the chart. She didn't know it yet, but she would quickly figure out that she could use those hypnotizing eyes of hers to get all the information out of me that she wanted.

"I thought my name was Isabella."

I turned toward the counter behind me, carefully placing down the chart. "It is, but you prefer to be called Bella." I knew that I needed to lose my prop, because she would call me out on it soon.

She absorbed the new information that I'd given her. "Is my husband here?"

I looked up at her shocked. "How do you know that you're married?"

"Everyone keeps calling me Mrs. Cullen." She fiddled with the bedspread beneath her fingers. "That can only lead me to believe that I have a husband."

I rolled my eyes internally. Of course she'd know. Even I'd called her Mrs. Cullen upon entering the room. "Yes, your husband's here."

"May I see him?" She looked slightly nervous.

"You already have." I saw her face fall slightly as the realization that she couldn't even recognize her own husband sank in. I hated the defeated look that overtook the beautiful face that I loved. "I'll tell you he's quite worried about you, but you need to be able to recognize him on your own."

She looked confused. "The only men I've seen only been Doctors and Nurses."

"Your husband works in the hospital." I trained my eyes on her nose, hoping that she wouldn't notie my lack of eye contact if my gaze remained on her face.

She watched me skeptically now. She'd probably figured out my game. She let the subject go for the moment, though I knew she would bring it up again. "Do I have children?"

"Yes, a little girl and a baby boy. The girl is about four and the boy is about six months old." I held back the tears that threatened to fall. "They love you very much."

"Am I allowed to meet them?" I could hear the slight tremble in her voice. She was trying to sound strong and confident, but I knew that she was terrified.

"They are under the impression that you are sick and are staying with their grandparents, which is true. One of the doctors here is your father-in-law and the woman who stayed with you through the night is your mother-in-law. Your father has been contacted and is on his way now." I reached into the pocket of my white coat, "Your daughter made this for you. It's a get well soon card."

She took the letter with shaky hands. She opened it and a tear slid down her cheek. I reached out to catch it, forgetting that she had no idea who I was. "Renesmee?"

I chuckled, "It's a combination of your mother's name and your mother-in-law's name. Renee and Esme.

I saw her smile sadly, "I wish I could remember her."

I crossed the room and took her hand and squeezed it gently, "You'll remember. It will take a little time, but you'll remember."

The rest of the day was spent running tests. I wanted to make sure there was nothing physically wrong with her. I had been right about the broken leg and the need to extract the glass, but nothing else was damaged. She was still my beautiful Bella, and I would get her back.

I spent every moment with her. She would ask questions, and I would answer them, at least the ones that weren't focused on figuring out who her husband was, in hope to spark something in her mind. She was frustrated by the end of the day.

"Anthony, why can't I remember anything?" She tugged at the ends of her beautiful mahogany hair. As if the pain could bring reality back to her. "Why does nothing you say remind me of anything?"

I was sitting on the chair next to her bed, "It's just going to take some time. We'll figure this out."

She groaned, "There has to be something you can tell me, something you can _do_ to remind me of who I am."

"Relax, we'll figure this out." I looked at my watch. It was 8 o'clock. Renesmee would be wondering where I was. And Alice would be waiting to chew me out since I hadn't let her come today. I had hoped not to overwhelm Bella, and Alice would definitely have done that. "You should get some sleep. I know you can figure this out."

"Will Esme be back?" She looked both hopeful and scared.

"Yes," I wanted so badly to reach out and brush my fingers along her cheek, to soothe whatever fear could be rushing through that beautifully thick skull of hers. "She's probably talking to Dr. Cullen at the moment."

She nodded her head and closed her eyes as she bent her head toward her chest. "Goodnight Anthony. I'm sure you have a family to get home to." She let her eyes open and lock with mine. "Are you married, Anthony?"

"Yes," I tried to smile, but I was working hard at not simply taking her in my arms.

She chewed on her lip, and I wished, as I so often wished, that I could see into her mind. "Do you love your wife?"

I let my eyes close, I couldn't watch her anymore. "She's my whole world, my only reason to exist."

"She's a lucky woman." There was a slight twinge of sadness in her voice. Someone else might not have noticed it, but I couldn't miss it.

I shook my head and smiled, "She could have anyone she wanted, man or woman, and she chose me. I'm the luckiest man on the planet." I sighed and began to head for the door. "You should go to sleep. You've been given a lot of information today."

She scoffed and I turned to look at her with a questioning look. "You're hiding something from me. I'm not sure what it is, but I'll figure it out."

I smiled at her, "I hope you do. I need you to remember." With that, I left to find my mother. I needed to make sure that she knew what she would and couldn't tell her about.

"Edward, dear," I turned to see my mother heading straight for me. When she reached me, she spoke again. "How is she?"

"Frustrated. She can't understand why she can't remember. She has no idea who I am."

"You haven't told her?" I could tell by the look in my mother's eyes that she didn't approve.

"I want her to figure it out on her own. She can do it. She's a strong woman and she will pull through this." I sighed, "I told her that my name is Anthony. When she comes back, she might kill me for not helping her more."

My mother smiled at me, "What?" I couldn't figure out what she was smiling for at a time like this.

"You said when instead of if." Her eyes sparkled slightly.

I smiled back, "I know she'll get through this. I have faith in her."

She nodded and headed for Bella's room.

I headed for my father's office. I was hoping he'd have some advice for me.

I was surprised to see Charlie in his office. He turned to look at me and I could see the anger in his eyes. It was justified anger, this was my fault. "Where is she?"

I sighed and tried not to appear scared. He may be an armed, over-protective father, but he wouldn't shoot me in a hospital full of witnesses. At least, I hoped not. "She's down the hall with my mother. Physically, she's fine."

"How can you talk about this so calmly? I thought you loved her." He jumped out of the seat, looking like he wanted to charge me.

I looked to my Dad for help. "Charlie, we all have to be calm. She's still trying to figure out what's going on. We don't need to stress her out."

He slumped back down in the chair, "My baby can't remember me and you want me to stay calm. Carlisle, how would you feel if it was Alice in that room right now?"

Carlisle leaned forward across his desk, "Charlie, you know I've always loved Bella like one of my own. You have to trust Edward. He's going to help her get through this."

Charlie turned to glare at me. "Bella shouldn't have been in this situation to begin with."

Charlie had never much liked me. Bella and I had been high school sweethearts, and he hadn't trusted me. He thought I'd hurt her like his wife had hurt him. His feelings had only been enforced when Carlisle picked up our lives and moved them out here to LA. Bella and I had been heartbroken by the separation. We'd kept in contact, but it wasn't enough. Without the other, each of us became unresponsive. Finally, they had allowed Alice and me to go back to Forks to finish out high school.

I looked up at Charlie with tears blurring the man in front of me, "You're right Charlie. I should have never put her in danger, but I will not allow you to tell me that I do not love her. She is my reason for living, and I will make sure that she comes back to us." I quickly turned from the office, deciding to come back when Charlie was no longer here. I couldn't be around him anymore.

Walking down the hallway, I could see my mother's head poking out of Bella's room. "Edward, come here."

I entered the room and saw Bella fast asleep. I needed to touch her. The urge had been so strong all day, but I hadn't wanted to frighten her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Edward…Anthony…Cullen" I pulled back in shock and looked down at her sleeping form.

Part of her brain had made the connection.

* * *

_A/N:I just wanted to say that this story has no relation to the new movie with Rob. My sister actually thought it was hilarious that we saw a preview for it right after she read the story._


	4. The Zoo

"Daddy, when is mommy coming home?" Renesmee was eating her cereal. It was Sunday morning and I was off duty at the hospital. I wanted to spend every day with Bella, but my father had convinced me that our children needed time with me too. There would have been no other way to drag me from her side.

"Hopefully soon. Grandpa and I are working very hard to make her better." The past several nights, I had slept at the hospital while Alice and Jasper spent time with the kids. Bella's sleep talking habits were what gave me hope. Every night she talked about me or the children. It was my only true sign that she was still in there somewhere. It kept me from going completely insane.

I desperately needed to find the trigger that would connect her to her life. I had tried giving her information, but that hadn't worked. We'd spent several days on the question and answer approach. And all that we came up with were empty memories and a completely frustrated Bella.

My next thought was people. I needed to start pulling in people that she cared about and see if they could convince her to remember.

I couldn't bring in the children, at least not yet. Renesmee wouldn't understand why her mother couldn't remember her. Alice was my first hope. I'd just have to remind her that Bella had no idea who I was.

I flipped open my phone and dialed Alice's number. "Hey Edward, how are you?"

"I've been better," I wasn't going to lie to Alice. She'd be able to tell in an instant.

"What is it, Edward? Do you need me to take the kids for the day?" Alice was still snippy with my from the day that I told her that she couldn't come to the hospital to see Bella. I was hoping that this would fix her attitude.

"No, I'm spending the day with them." I hated being on bad terms with her, and I'd wished she'd understand. Of course, I should have known better. "I was curious if you'd be able to meet me at the hospital tomorrow. I'm going to try something different, and I need your help."

"Sure, anything to help Bella." Alice loved Bella almost as much as I did. She would have dropped anything, including Jasper if it would help.

"Just let me know when you're going to get there," I begged. "I have to prepare you."

She hesitated, "Is it that bad?"

"No," and as long as Alice didn't scare Bella out of her mind, everything would be okay. "I just need to warn you of what you can and can't talk about."

"Is there anything else you'd like me to do? If you need anything Edward, just ask." Apparently, I had made it up to her enough for her to forgive me.

I glanced over at Renesmee who was making faces at her brother. "I'm fine, Alice. Thank you."

"Am I still taking Renesmee and Mason tonight?" I didn't even know why she asked. She knew that I couldn't be away from Bella for that long.

"Yes, that would be really helpful. I feel more comfortable sleeping at the hospital. I can't sleep here when I know that she's there." Some would consider my admission a weakness, but I didn't care. I needed to be with Bella. And if anyone could understand that, it was Alice.

"It won't be too much longer, Edward." I knew that if Alice were here, she'd wrap her arms around me to provide whatever comfort she could. "I can feel it."

"Thanks Alice. I'll see you tonight." I hung up the phone and looked at Renesmee. She was almost done with her cereal and would be bouncing all over the house soon if I didn't find something for us to do.

"Hey, kiddo. Do you wanna have a picnic today?" I tried to come up with something that would distract me, get me out of the house. Something that would keep Renesmee entertained. "We could go to the zoo and eat by the giraffes."

Renesmee produced a smile that reminded me of her mother. "Can I push the stroller?"

"Maybe when Mommy gets back." I was getting better at ignoring the painful squeeze in my chest when I talked to Renesmee. It hadn't lessened, but I knew that showing Renesmee how much pain I was in when her mother would be back to her soon would be pointless. "Why don't you just look at the animals today?"

Renesmee looked a little sad at the idea but agreed. I kissed her forehead and headed upstairs with Mason to pack the diaper bag. I didn't like doing the single parent thing, but I had two great kids, and they wouldn't cause me much trouble.

After the morning preparations, we piled into the old Ford pick-up and headed for the zoo. I was growing attached to the old thing, even though it seemed like it break down at any moment. It seemed to be a part of Bella, and I was holding onto anything that would keep me close to her.

Renesmee pulled me to the entrance. "Daddy, Daddy, hurry up. I want to get to the petting zoo before all the goats are taken." I chuckled at her insistence which only seemed to aggravate her more. "Daddy, come on."

I got to the counter and paid for entrance and a stroller. I was glad that Bella had insisted on buying the Friends of the Zoo membership. Renesmee had gone to the zoo more times in the last year than I had in my entire childhood. That could have something to do with the fact that there was no Zoo in Forks, Washington.

"Dr. Cullen?" I heard a slightly hesitant voice call out to me. I turned to see Emmet's wife Rosalie heading my way with the twins in tow. "Edward, wait up."

"Hey Rose," I slowed the stroller as she made her way over to us, "what's up?"

She walked up beside me and watched the twins link arms with Renesmee. When they were a few feet in front of us, she turned to talk to me. "How are you holding up? Emmet says that the whole hospital is working to help."

"I'm doing okay." I shook my head, correcting my answer. "I have to be okay. I can't let Renesmee know what's going on and Mason still needs a full time parent." I took a deep breath. "Emmet's been a gift from God recently. I don't know if I could concentrate on my patients with Bella the way she is."

She linked her arm through one of mine which was pushing the stroller. With any other woman, I would have feared that she was coming on to me. But with Rosalie, I knew that the gesture was meant to be comforting. "Has she made any progress?"

"Not recently. Her subconscious has made the connection between who I say I am and who I really am?"

She looked up at me, "What do you mean? How do you know that?"

I smiled, "Bella's always talked in her sleep. I noticed it when we were dating in high school. As long as I've known about it, she's talked about me in her sleep. Even after the accident, she talks about me. It gives me hope that she's not far away from us.

"But how do you know she's made the connection?" Her brow furrowed, "And what in the world do you mean by who you say you are? Edward, what in the world are you doing?"

"I haven't told her who I am. I've claimed that my name is Anthony, which is my middle name. The first day we spent together, she said my full name in her sleep. She's in there, I just have to find the trigger that pulls her back."

Rosalie was studying me, "Edward, when was the last time you slept?"

I shrugged, "I sleep a little when I'm in Bella's room. Not much, though. I don't want to miss anything."

"Edward, you need to take care of yourself. Bella's going to be okay." She nudged me in the stomach. "You know she's going to kill you when she finds out you were staying up all night just to hear her talk."

She was right of course. Bella and Rose had become close while Emmet and I were residents. They got each other through the difficulty of a relationship with a medical resident. I saw so many relationships go down the drain, but they kept each other strong. "Rose, I just need to be with her. This is the closest I can get until this is over."

"Edward, why aren't you telling her who you are? It's probably," she shook her head. "No, it is killing her that she's attracted to you and her husband hasn't come to visit her."

I glanced over at Rosalie, unable to understand her words. I knew that she hadn't seen Bella since the accident, so where had she gotten that? "Why do you think that?"

"Edward, I know Bella. And you know Bella. Her body reacts to just the sight of you." She made a sweep of her free hand gesturing to me. "It's got to be killing her that she thinks she's having unfaithful thoughts."

I sighed, "I want her to figure out my identity on her own. I feel like that would be the sign that I've got her back."

"Can I come see her?"

"As long as you don't tell her who I am." I looked into her eyes seriously.

"Ugh, fine Edward. I promise I won't tell her that the man she's having dirty thoughts about is her husband."

One of the twins turned around, I think it was Jane. "Mommy, Nessie says they're having a picnic by the giraffes. Can we do that too?"

The one who I think was Alexis turned around next, "Yeah, I want to eat with Nessie."

"Okay, girls, but remember that we're meeting Daddy in a couple of hours." All three girls did an Alice style celebration. Clearly they'd been spending too many girl's days with my sister.

The rest of the day passed slowly. I couldn't keep my mind off of Bella. How could I get her to remember? How long would I have to wait to hold her in my arms? How long before I could kiss her beautiful lips? How long before I could look into her eyes and tell her how much I love her? How long before my world would be right again?


	5. Alice?

"Edward, when will you let me see her?" Alice was bouncing on the balls of her feet, and I thought she was going to jump right past me soon if I couldn't get her under control. "She's my best friend and I haven't seen her in like a week. I want to talk to her."

"That's just it, Alice." I placed my hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her enough that she wouldn't freak out my wife. "You won't be talking to the Bella you grew up with. You'll be talking to the Bella who has no idea who you are."

She rolled her eyes, "I know that, Edward. But you are going to allow me to tell her who I am, so please let me see her. Let me talk to her."

"One more thing." I squeezed her shoulders trying to stress the importance of what I was about to tell her.

"I know, I know." She brushed my hands off her shoulders. "She doesn't know you're her husband and you want it to stay that way." She narrowed her eyes at me. "I think you should tell her. You're confusing her."

I fisted my hands in my hair and tugged. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true." She glared up at me. "How can she figure out who she is when she doesn't know who you are?"

"Why does it matter who I am?"

Alice looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "To her, it does matter. **YOU** are extremely important to her"

Alice turned toward the room, leaving me stunned in the hallway, and went running right for Bella. The shock on Bella's face as the pixie threw herself at her was undeniable. "Bella, I've missed you so much. How are you feeling?"

"Um, I'm fine I guess. As fine as anyone can be when someone they don't remember throws themselves at them."

Alice giggled as she removed herself from the bed. "I'm sorry, I'm Alice Whitlock, formerly Cullen, your sister-in-law and best friend. We practically grew up together."

Bella looked a bit overwhelmed, but she seemed to take to Alice easily. "I wish I could remember. I bet we had some amazing times together."

"Oh, we did," Alice giggled as she settled herself onto the hospital bed next to Bella, "and I'm going to tell you as much as I can"

I watched Bella as she began to smile. Obviously the bond between them still existed. Bella took a deep breath, "Okay, tell me about how we met."

Alice immediately fell into the tale. "Okay, it was our sixth grade year and you'd just moved to Forks from Phoenix, Arizona. Your Mom was getting re-married and would be spending a lot of time on the road with her new husband who played baseball. I think he's a softball coach now." Alice's eyes glazed over as she thought about it. But then she shook it off. "Anyway, you were so cute that first day of school. Every one of your folders was Lisa Frank and you had one propped up on your desk so no one could see you."

It had been a while since I'd thought about that cute, little, shy Bella. Her tactics of hiding were what had intrigued me about her when we were so young. I couldn't understand why she would hide from me.

"Anyway, Mike Newton started to make fun of you because you were the new kid. Even at the time, I was small for my age. I stood between the two of you and shoved Newton onto his ass. I had to stand with my nose in the corner for twenty minutes." Which I would imagine was hard for the over active 11 year old pixie. She'd never been able to stay still for very long.

"At the end of the day we talked while waiting for the bus. We've been best friends ever since." Alice said simply.

"Wow," Bella's eyes were huge. I wondered if it was because of the story itself or the speed at which Alice told it. "If I didn't tell you when I was little, thank you for standing up for me"

Alice's smile got huge. "Well you're quite welcome." She sighed. "We were inseparable until 9th grade."

Bella looked worried, "What happened in the 9th grade?"

"My brother finally got up the never to ask you out," she said with a sigh. "He was a grade higher than us."

I saw Bella glance at me before she went on. "Will you tell me about your brother? I want to know who he is. It's strange waking up a married woman and having no idea who your name belongs to."

Alice threw me an 'I told you so' look. "I told him the same thing, but he's hoping that you'll be able to figure out who he is."

Alice took a few moments to think about how to approach the topic. "My brother loves you, he's just being stupid."

"Alice," Bella whined, "will you please tell me about him?"

Sighing, Alice began our tale. "You and my brother were **THE** couple in high school. Everyone knew that you would get married. You had two blissful years in the perfect relationship. You'd hold hands in the hallway. He'd pick you up and drop you off after school in his precious Volvo." I winced slightly at the end of her sentence. I didn't want to think about my Volvo. It was the cause of this whole stupid thing.

"What happened after two years?" Bella leaned forward slightly, trying to catch ever one of Alice's words.

"Our father forced us to move out here." Alice made a sweep of the room as if Bella knew the difference between where we'd grown up and where she was now.

She placed her hand on top of Bella's, as if providing comfort to that girl who we'd had to abandon all those years ago, "You were both devastated. I remember your father using the term catatonic."

She closed her eyes and pushed on. "My brother wasn't any better. He ditched school a few times and just stayed in his room. I'd never seen him so upset."

Bella looked confused, "But I married him."

"Yes, after a few months, my father gave up. He sent us back to finish high school. None of us could stand the way he moped around. It was like he wasn't there. He was the walking dead." I knew I had been. I was nothing without Bella.

"Tell me something else, something happy." There was a tear streaking down Bella's cheek. My stomach churned as I anchored myself in place. I felt like the biggest ass, but I couldn't go to her.

"Well, he proposed to you about six years ago. He spent weeks planning it." I closed my eyes and watched the memory. "He had me buy you this beautiful blue dress, because he's always had a thing for you in blue, and he drove you out into the middle of nowhere. There were candles, and music and it was perfect for you. It was private and personal. It was…"

"Our meadow," Bella whispered.

My eyes snapped open and we both stared at her. Alice was the first to be able to speak, "You remember?"

"Not really," she looked a little sheepish as she answered. "I can see the picture that you're painting, but I can't remember him. When I see a man kneeling before me, it's Anthony," she nodded in my direction, "not my husband."

I was too shocked to speak. She remembered our meadow. She remembered me proposing. It wasn't everything, but it was more than I'd thought we'd get from today.

Bella continued to look at Alice, "Will you tell me his name? I'm tired of referring to him as my husband or your brother. Maybe a name will help me remember him."

Alice shook her head, "He wants you to remember him without any help."

"Ugh, I'm going to kill him as soon as I figure out who he is. He could give me a little more help." I chuckled at her anger. She'd always seemed like a kitten trying to be a tiger when she got angry.

She glared at me, "What is so funny?"

I smiled at her with true emotion. Her memory of our meadow was making me feel like I was flying. "He will be so happy to have you back that he'd gladly take the consequences."

She seemed a little shocked. She'd once told me that I tended to dazzle her. I wondered if I was unintentionally doing so now.

Alice was watching me closely, "He's always been a bit of a masochist."

Bella was apparently ready to move on. "Tell me about your life, Alice. You've changed your name so you must have gotten married."

Alice was smiling again. "I married the most amazing guy in the world. His name is Jasper Whitlock. You actually were my maid of honor. The wedding was two years ago. We met at an old diner where I was stranded because my car broke down. I thought he was the mechanic I called, so I walked right up to him and said 'You've kept me waiting a long time'. And being the good southern gentleman that he is, he said 'I'm sorry ma'am'. The rest is history." Her eyes were twinkling at the memory.

Bella sat on her bed giggling. She reached out and took Alice's hand, "Thank you"

"For what?' I could tell that Alice was taken by surprise. Alice was never taken by surprise.

"For coming to talk to me. Though I don't remember much, your presence alone makes me feel better. I hope you'll come back."

Alice threw her arms around Bella. "Of course I'll come back, Bella. I'll come back every day if you want me to."

In that moment, I knew. Alice could help me bring her back.


	6. Connection

Alice and I were saying goodbye outside the hospital. She had spent most of the day talking with Bella and was only leaving because she had to meet a prospective client for her consultant firm. "Edward, tell me the real reason you don't want her to know who you are. You saw today that she's starting to remember. She starting to remember and it's killing her that she thinks her brain is just substituting you for her husband."

I ran my hands through my hair. I didn't want to share my reason, but Alice would never let it go unless she knew. I sighed in resignation, "Okay, Alice. Come back tonight around 11. I'll show you then."

Alice gave me a funny look, but agreed and climbed into her little porche. I was going to have to have to show her my all too selfish reason why I wanted to keep my identity secret.

I began my journey back to Bella's room. It was nearly 4o'clock. She was having some daily tests run to make sure that everything was still as it should be. I knew that she hated being here. As soon as she was able to walk, I'd have to get her outside. I prayed that she'd be herself before that day came.

I was deep in thought about Bella when I bumped into someone. I pulled myself out of my daze to apologize. "Sorry, I should have been watching where I was going."

"It's alright Dr. Cullen." A little blonde in pink scrubs was looking up at me smiling and giggling. "My name's Lauren. I heard about your wife. I'm so sorry." She didn't look sorry. No, she looked like she was planning something.

"Thank you, Lauren. I'm sorry, but I need to…" I tried to step around her bus she moved to block my way.

"Dr. Cullen, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright." She placed her hand on my chest and it took everything in my not to jerk away. She batted her eyelashes up at me. "If there's anything, anything at all that I can do to help, just let me know."

I looked down at her in disgust. "You could move out of my way."

She looked up at me in shock. I wondered if I was the first man to reject her. I mean, she was pretty and all, but there was no way she could compare to my Bella.

She continued to stare at me, blinking and mouth agape like fish, so I stepped around her and headed for the elevator. Luckily the elevator was open so I ran into it just as it was about to close.

"Hey, Eddie." A gruff voice greeted me as I pressed the button for the floor I needed.

I turned around to greet my best friend. "Hey Emmett."

"How is she?" Straight to the point. Emmett was never one to beat around the bush.

I sighed and closed my eyes smiling. "She's starting to remember. It's only a little bit, but she remembers our meadow and my proposal."

Emmett clapped me on the back. "That's great, dude. Rosie said she's coming to see her. Do you mind if I come visit as well?"

"No, that would be fine, just let me know when you want to see her. She seems to enjoy people coming to visit her, even if she doesn't remember you."

Emmett laughed, "She'll remember me. How can she not?"

I had to laugh too. Emmett was a large presence. He made an impression. "Just make sure you don't break any more bones." Bella gets hurt so easily, and Emmett often times forgot his own strength.

"How's the leg?" Emmett asked, suddenly serious. The door opened and we exited the elevator and headed to my office.

"It's not the worst she's had. The break was fairly clean so it won't need any extra help besides the setting. I'm going to put her on crutches soon because she needs to get out of that bed. She hates being stuck in bed, especially in the hospital, with an injury."

Emmett placed his hands on my desk and looked at me. "You know if she had some company in her bed, she wouldn't mind so much."

I tried to read Emmet's face. Usually his eyebrows would wiggle in an almost sinister way as he said something like that, but his face was completely expressionless. "What do you mean?"

"You need to tell her, Edward. It's probably killing her not knowing. Thinking that you are completely off limits and she's a terrible person for wanting you when you're actually the only person who she's allowed to want. She's spent most of her life in love with you, and now she's so confused. Edward, it's not fair to her."

I scrubbed my hand over my face. "Why does everyone keep telling me that? If I tell her who I am, it will affect how I know how much of her memory is real. I need things to stay this way for a little while longer. I need her to come back to me on her own. I need for her to remember."

Emmett dropped a hand to my shoulder and shook it lightly, "Relax, man. I understand. I just want you to remember that you two have some strange connection. You seem to gravitate toward each other." He laughed and shook his head. Most people didn't understand the way that Bella and I were connected. It wasn't normal, but I wouldn't change it for the world. "She once told me that your bodies seem to recognize and call to each other. If that's true, then she feels a pull to you right now, and she feels as though she's being unfaithful to her husband."

I dropped into my chair and ran my hands through my hair and tugged slightly, "You're right. I know I'm being selfish, but I need to keep it this way for a little while longer. I just pray that she'll be able to forgive me when this is all over."

Emmett laughed and wiggled his eyebrows, finally showing his true colors "She'll want you to make it up to her."

I smiled at the truth of his statement. "That woman knows how to wear me out." I sighed and my smile faded. "I'll do anything to make it up to her." I realized I wasn't just talking about this lie anymore. I was talking about the whole situation. The whole accident. I would do anything to make it up to her, I just prayed that she'd give me the chance.

There was a knock on the door and Emmett and I looked up to see my mother in the doorway. "Hey, Mrs. C. Did you come to lecture your son on his memory recovery tactics as well?"

My mother laughed, I didn't think it was funny. "No Dr. McCarthy. I actually came to tell my son that his wife's in her room."

I stood up and walked around my desk. I kissed her on the cheek as I left. "Thanks Mom." I walked straight to the stairs, too impatient to wait on the elevator. I had a surprise for her. I wanted to give it to her today.

I walked into the room and nearly laughed at what I saw. A nurse was trying to take blood and my Bella had her face scrunched up and turned in the opposite direction. I wasn't sure she was breathing. Bella hated needles, and blood for that matter. Just a little bit of who she was, was returning to her.

When the needle was gone she finally opened her eyes and smiled at me. "What's on the schedule for the rest of the day, Doc?"

Her positive attitude change was having an effect on my body. Her smile alone made my pants feel uncomfortable. I was glad my lab coat was hiding my all too obvious bulge. Emmett had been right about our bodies calling to each other. I tried to smile at her. "I have something for you."

"Really? What?"

I pulled out her messenger bag from college and handed it to her. She ran her hand over it and looked up at me. "Is this mine?"

I nodded my head, "Yes, but the surprise is what's inside."

She opened the bag carefully and pulled out its contents. One by one she pulled out the books I'd brought from her bedside table. The spines were worn and many of the pages dog eared from the many times she'd found something she wanted to analyze further or remember.

I sat down next to her as she examined the books that now lay in front of her. "These are some of your favorites. You read them over and over again. We've all tried to convince you to buy new copies, but you tell us that these books have character. Each mark, tear, or crease only shows how much you've loved a book."

She laughed and let her hands run over the cover of Pride and Prejudice before picking it up and opening it to the first page to begin reading.

I piled the other books on the little table beside her bed and watched her read for a little while. The scene was so familiar. It was not the first time she'd had to stay at the hospital. Being a klutz landed her here quite a lot. As her eyes lit up with each word she took in, I could easily remember other times she'd been stuck in a similar bed in this hospital, content with nothing more than a book and my company.

I smiled and left to give her a little privacy.


	7. Dreams

It was nearly 11 o'clock and Bella was completely asleep. She had fallen asleep, book in hand. It was something she had done thousands of times before. And it was so hard to believe that it wasn't exactly the same. I walked over to the bed and gently took the book from her, marked the page and placed it on the pile next to her bed. I pulled the blanket up so that it completely covered her and kissed her forehead, letting a single tear escape and slide down my cheek.

I hated the physical distance I created during the day. My arms craved to hold her. My lips were so tempted by her own. This was not the way that things were supposed to be, and I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to keep my true identity from her. She was meant to be in my arms at all times. My body craved to be closer to hers. These nights were the only thing keeping me strong.

Alice quietly opened the door and slid into the room. She walked to my side and looked down at Bella as she slept. Her demeanor was soft and sweet toward my wife, but she crossed her arms over her chest and treated me coolly as she tried to determine whether or not I had completely lost my mind. I wouldn't disagree if her verdict committed me. "Okay, Edward. You need to tell me now why it is that you won't tell her who you really are."

I stroked Bella's cheek softly, trying to determine the best way to reveal my secret to Alice. "Do you remember when we were younger and Bella used to spend the night at our house every other weekend?" I asked, eyes never leaving my beautiful Bella.

Alice snorted crossing her arms over her chest like a petulant child, "Of course I do. That we before you stole her away from me. But what does that have to do with anything, Edward?"

"What did we learn about her then?" I whispered as I brushed a piece of hair from her forehead. I couldn't deny myself the softness of Bella's skin. Looking at her all day long was pure torture, and I couldn't help but indulge in these moments.

"A lot of things." Alice answered in exasperation. "Be more specific, Edward."

As if on cue, Bella spoke, "Edward…I love you."

Alice gasped and looked back at me. I nodded, "She remembers, but only subconsciously." My brow furrowed, and I resisted the urge to run my hands through my hair as they were occupied with rememorizing my wife's velvet smooth skin. "I need to figure out how to bridge the gap." I sighed and turned away from Bella. "This is why I don't want to tell her my true identity. If she knows who I truly am, I won't be sure that when she's talking in her sleep, she still remembers."

"Edward…Anthony…Cullen" Bella breathed.

Alice's eyes were so wide that I thought that they might have come out of their sockets. "She's made the connection."

I nodded. "She made the connection immediately. She never said my full name in her sleep until I introduced myself as Anthony." I ran my hands over my face, "I'm missing something. I don't know how to build the bridge to bring her back."

Alice placed her hand on my arm, "Edward, I think we're on the right track. She remembered your proposal today. That is a good sign. If we can pull back one memory, surely we can pull everything back."

I nodded absent mindedly. I was watching Bella again. She was smiling in her sleep. I ran my hands through her hair and relished the soft texture. "I don't know how much longer I can keep myself from letting her know the truth. I can't take not being able to tell her how much I love her. Every time she smiles, I want to take her lips with my own. I want to hold her in my arms and press her body so close to mine that I'll be able to feel her there for the rest of my life. I need her to remember."

Alice slumped into a nearby chair, "Maybe that would be the way to get her to remember."

I let out a strangled chuckle, "Yeah, attacking her with all my sexual frustration. I'm sure that will tell her exactly who she is."

"It's just a thought, Edward." She said with a sigh. "I'm trying to think of anything that will bring her back quickly. You have no idea how hard it is to be around you," she growled at me. "You're so deep into this that it affects everything that you do. Renesmee asked me tonight if you and Bella were in a fight. She says you've been acting really sad lately."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. She was right, I was unable to act normally, I couldn't even be a father to my own children. I needed Bella back so badly. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth," she said simply. "That you were working so hard making Bella better that you weren't acting like yourself." She stood up and walked over to me, "Edward, I'm not telling you that you don't have a right to be upset, we're all upset. It's just that if you're going to hide the truth from your children, you need to do a better job at acting like yourself."

I straightened up and pulled my sister into a tight hug. "Thank you for putting up with me, Alice. I know I'm a mess right now."

She smiled at me, love and worry for me showing in her bright eyes, before pushing me away playfully. "I'm not doing it for you." She looked down at Bella and took her hand lightly, "I'm doing it for her. I'd do anything to keep her in our lives. I'm not going to let her be taken from us."

She let go of Bella's hand and turned back to me. She brought her hand up to my face and cupped my cheek. "It won't be much longer, Edward. I don't know what to tell you, but I can feel it. This will all be over soon. She wants to come back to us, we just have to be patient with her."

"I know Alice." And I did know. If there was one thing in this world that I could be sure of, it was the love that Bella and I shared. We were meant to be together. "It's just hard to be patient when it comes to Bella. I have and am nothing without her."

Alice nodded and we both looked back to her. The peaceful expression from earlier was gone. My heart constricted as her face contorted in pain. I kneeled beside her bed and watched her carefully. She began to mumble. "Edward?"

I took her hand in mine and rubbed circles into the back of her it with my thumb, hoping to provide some sort of comfort for here. "Baby, I'm right here."

Her head thrashed on the bed from one side to the other and her breathing had become erratic. Her chest rose and fell at a dangerous rate. I watched in horror as she began crying in her sleep. The sobs were loud and rough. They shook her whole frame.

"Edward! NO!" She bolted strait up in the bed and looked around the room. Confusion marred her perfect features as she tried to come to terms with where she was. Slowly her breathing and heart rate were coming back down to a less frightening speed. I could feel her pulse as it raced through the wrist of the hand that I still held.

"Bella," my own heart was still in my throat as I waited for her to acknowledge my presence. "Look at me."

She turned and locked her gaze with mine, confusion still prominent in her doe eyes. "Anthony, what are you doing here?"

I could feel the disappointment in the pit of my stomach for her lack of recognition, but I pushed it away. There were more important things to attend to at the moment. "You were screaming. Do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

She took a few deep breaths and I could feel her pulse returning to a normal pace. "It was some kind of an accident. I lost something, or forgot something." She shook her head as if trying to clear it, as if her mind were simply an etch-a-sketch that would be seen more easily once she'd cleared away the chicken scratch of the young child. "I don't remember the details. I know someone else was with me, but I don't remember who."

She pulled her hand from mine and ran it through her hair, a habit she'd picked up from me. I could see the pain in her eyes. She felt alone, and that hurt me more than anything, because I was here with her. I knew I should tell her what was really going on, erase the pain in her eyes, but I needed to know. I needed her to know. So I simply reached out and brushed my hand across her arm in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. "Are you alright?"

"I-I think so," She looked around the room. Surprised shown on her features as her gaze locked on something over my head. "What are you doing here, Alice?"

I had forgotten that Alice was in the room. I'd been so worried about Bella that the building could have caught on fire and I wouldn't have noticed. Alice pulled out something from her bag. "Renesmee wanted me to give this to you." I looked at the blanket as it exchanged hands. "She says that it will remind you that she loves you."

Bella brought the blanket to her face and inhaled the scent. She closed her eyes as she took in the scent of our home and our daughter. She opened her eyes and looked at us pleadingly, "I want to see them."

"What?" I couldn't comprehend what she was trying to ask.

"I want to see my children. I want to see Renesmee and Mason." She used the full power of her beautiful brown eyes on me as she worked the names around on her tongue. "Please."

I could deny her nothing. So I simply nodded my head. Her smile was blinding, but I had to hold up my hand and temper her enthusiasm. "You have to realize that they have no idea that you've lost your memory. It will be hard, but you will have to pretend that nothing has changed."

She nodded, "I know, I just need to see them. You have no idea how hard it is to place myself as a mother when I can't even picture my children." I knew she felt the same about the marriage concept, but I'd had that argument with too many people today.

Alice cut in to my train of thought. "I'll bring them in when I come to visit tomorrow. Renesmee will be so happy. She's been begging to come see you."

Bella smiled. "Thank you, Alice."

I could see the exhaustion in her expression. She needed her rest if she was going to act like herself tomorrow. "Bella, why don't you go back to sleep? Alice and I will be back tomorrow."

Bella nodded and yawed. She leaned back and held the blanket close to her heart as she closed her eyes.

As Alice and I left the room, I thought of Bella holding that blanket 4years earlier with a baby girl wrapped in it. Renesmee had held onto that blanket like Linus had in the Peanuts. I'd never had the heart to take it from her, and I was thankful that I hadn't because I knew that it brought Bella some form of comfort tonight.

I let my mind drift to the dream that hand woken Bella. She was remembering the accident, but she'd said she'd forgotten something. I hoped that she'd remember it soon, because I had a feeling that it was the true barrier holding us apart.


	8. Her Our Children

I watched Bella as she fidgeted nervously with the edges of the blanket that Renesmee had sent her. She wanted to see our children, but she was so nervous that they'd figure out that she didn't remember them. "Bella, stop fidgeting."

She glared at me, her hands finally stilling for a moment, "I'm sorry if seeing my children," our children, I corrected mentally, "for the first time is making me a nervous wreck, and annoying you, but you'd feel the same way if it was you doing this."

I chuckled as she showed her kitten anger, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. You just need to remember what I told you. Renesmee's nickname is Nessie. Her best friend is Jacob and they've claimed that they're going to get married someday. She is more like Alice than most of us would like, but you can't help but love her anyway. She has a love of all things natural, taking every opportunity she can to go to Forks to go camping and fishing with your father. She loves animals, but she has a strange obsession with canines, specifically wolfs."

My expression became a little more serious as I continued. "She's probably going to ask you if you're in a fight with your husband."

Bella's eyes locked with mine and she stopped fidgeting again. "Why would she ask me something like that?"

I looked down at her chart, unable to look her in the eyes as I spoke, "Let's just say your husband hasn't been acting like himself lately. She's afraid that her parents might be in a fight."

I was glad that she didn't question the subject any further, because I wasn't sure what answers there were to give her. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Not that I can think of. Alice will be here to help you along if anything should stump you. I don't think you'll have a problem, though. Nessie has spent a lot of time with Alice, so she's picking up her over active, talk too much tendencies. By the end of the visit, you will know more about your daughter than you know about Elizabeth Bennett, and that's saying something considering that you're senior thesis was actually on the compare and contrast of Elizabeth Bennett to other heroines of her time."

I watched her relax slightly. I couldn't even begin to imagine how she felt. I wanted to see how Bella would react to this visit, to see if there was anything else that she would remember, but I couldn't be in the room. Nessie would no doubt give away my identity in the first few seconds. I mean, I feel like her calling me Daddy might be a dead giveaway. And Mason's eyes were identical to my own.

My phone rang and I picked it up off the counter, "Hey Alice."

"We're on our way up." She said excitedly. I could just imagine her bouncing on the balls of her feet as she spoke, if not jumping up and down like she was jumping rope.

"Okay, I'll meet you by the elevator." I hung up and looked over at Bella. "Okay, Alice is coming up with Nessie and Mason. I'm going to leave you in her capable hands."

Her eyes met mine, and there was a tiny bit of worry in them, "You're not staying?"

I shook my head, hating the fact that not only could I not stay, but I also couldn't comfort her. "I have some paper work that I really need to get done, and this is really the perfect opportunity. Trust me, with Alice and Nessie, you won't even notice that I'm gone."

She nodded her head, though I could tell that she wasn't completely convinced. But I couldn't stick around any longer. Alice would come bursting through the door before I had the chance to get out of the room if I didn't leave, and then she would say it was an accident. So with one last look at my beautiful Bella, I headed out through the hall.

I reached the elevator right as Nessie came barreling through the doors. "Daddy! Aunt Alice brought us in to see Mommy. She says that Mommy's feeling better and asked to see us."

"She did, sweetheart. You have to remember that she hurt her leg, so don't mess with it, okay?" She nodded and I disentangled myself to take Mason from Alice's arms. I rocked him gently and kissed his forehead.

I looked up from the little emerald eyes to see Alice and Jasper standing in front of me. "Hey Jazz, what brings you in?" I reached out a hand for him to shake in greeting.

"I miss Bella's happy aura," he said with a shrug. "I've never seen her without a smile." Most people knew that part of Bella. Since the birth of our daughter, nothing seemed to be able to bring her down.

Renesmee tugged on my pant leg. "Daddy, let's go see Mommy.

I bent down to look her in the eyes. "I have a lot of work that I need to finish, but Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper will come with you." She pouted out her lower lip. God, she was so much like her mother, and that pout was getting harder for me to resist. "You can come by my office before you leave." I said hopefully.

She smiled, obviously appeased. I stood up and placed Mason gently back into Alice's arms. "Do you have your phone?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, Edward. You'll see the whole thing." Then she turned her head and murmured, "Though I think it would be better if you came with us."

"Thank you," I kissed her on the cheek, ignoring her side comment, before heading up to my office. Once in my chair, I started to receive the live stream from Alice. I pulled out the phone and watched the screen carefully. The vantage point was too far away for me to watch her facial expression closely, but I was able to see some and could hear everything that was being said.

Renesmee was sitting on the bed snuggled into her mother's good side, talking animatedly. "Jacob and I were watching the birds when this squirrel started running through the play ground. Jacob and I started chasing it, but it decided to climb a tree. It wouldn't come down. I held up a nut to it, but it stayed so high that I couldn't get to it. Not even when I stood on Jacob's shoulders."

Bella's eyes got huge. "You did what?"

Renesmee didn't look phased by her mother's surprise. "I stood on Jacob's shoulders to see if I could catch the squirrel."

Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you will never do that again. Do you understand me?" I froze I place. I hadn't told Bella what Renesmee's middle name was.

I tried to breathe and pay attention. "Yes Mommy." Renesmee pulled out her best 'I'm sorry' face. She was spending far too much time with Alice. I let my gaze stray from Renesmee to Mason lying contently in his mother's arms. The way she held him was so natural, and every once in a while, she'd drop a chaste kiss on his forehead. I wondered if we'd be able to remove him from her arms. As I thought that through, I decided that we shouldn't remove him. There would be the resemblance, but both mother and child would be happier together. I would have to talk to someone about getting one of the cribs from the nursery taken to her room.

I let my mind drift back to the screen and the conversation. Alice was seated with them now and Nessie and Alice were telling Bella about a recent shopping trip. "Mommy, Aunt Alice bought me the prettiest dress. It's purple and has all these bows along the bottom. Then she bought me these shoes to go with it. The woman said was the new Prada Mary Janes. Isn't that so exciting, Mommy?"

Bella smiled down at our daughter. "Did you thank her?"

I smiled at her mothering instincts and watched Nessie turn to her Aunt. "Thank you Aunt Alice. I love the new dress. Now can we tell Mommy what you got for her?"

Bella's head snapped in Alice's direction. "You didn't."

"Of course I did silly. Since you didn't come with us, I had to get you something." She spoke as if this were the most obvious thing in the world, or something that Bella agreed to everyday. "It's a beautiful midnight blue dress that will keep my brother's eyes glued to you."

"Yeah Mommy. The dress is so beautiful that Daddy won't be able to speak." Renesmesse squealed and clapped in excitement.

Bella turned back to Alice, "Alice how much did you spend on the dress?"

Alice shook her head, "No way, I'm not telling you that. You're going to wear it no matter how much you fight me on this. We've been over this far too many times. When are you going to learn to just give in?"

"How can I give in when I know that if I do, you won't think twice before doing it again? Alice, you know how much I hate having money spent on me." The conversation was so normal. It was on they'd had at least once a week since they'd met in elementary school. It was one more connection. It was more proof and gave me more hope that we'd get her back. Her personality was showing more with each passing moment.

I watched as Renesmee's expression changed. "Mommy, when are you coming home? I miss you."

Bella leaned down and placed a kiss on our daughter's forehead. "As soon as I can, baby. I promise."

"And you're not mad at Daddy?" I couldn't see her expression, but I could hear the tremble in her voice that led me to believe she was on the verge of tears.

"Of course not, baby. Why would I be? You know I love your father." My heart gave a little twist at her words.

Nessie shrugged her little shoulders, "Daddy's just sad all the time now. He pretends to be happy, but I can see it in his eyes. He misses you."

Bella smiled weakly and wrapped one arm around Renesmee and pulled her tightly against her side. "He's worried about me, that's all. We'll all be together again soon."

I tried to read her facial expression from the vantage point that the phone was being held, but I couldn't. How much had she figured out and how much had she remembered? How close were we to having this all over? My whole body was singing at the idea of having her back.

Bella looked in the direction of whoever was holding the phone, "Jasper why are you sitting all the way over there? I haven't seen you in over a week and you're just going to sit across the room from me." I saw Alice's mouth fall open. Clearly there had been no introductions.

My vantage point moved closer and I heard Jasper's smooth southern twang, "Sorry Dahrlin. I tend to step back when Alice and Nessie talk about shopping. They can be a little overwhelming." I saw Bella smile before she momentarily disappeared from the screen. I assumed Jasper was giving her a hug. "How are you feeling?"

She smiled her most beautiful smile and squeezed Renesmee, "Better now."

I watched as my Bella became more and more apparent. Her eyes began to sparkle and I could tell that she knew she was getting things back. Her face had always been like an open book.

They spoke for hours. A nurse or my parents would occasionally drop in to check on her. When Renesmee drifted to sleep, Bella looked at Alice, "Do you know when Anthony is going to come back?"

Alice's eyes showed some disappointment that I felt. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's still in his office. He had a lot of paperwork to do."

"Oh," was all that Bella said.

I sighed and cut the connection. I needed to get a crib placed in her room for Mason before they left.


	9. Jealousy and Happiness

"Bella!" Rosalie came running into the room with Emmett not far behind her. I was watching as Bella clutched Mason to her chest unconsciously. She was probably scared they'd try to take him from her arms. All the nurses had been trying to do so since he'd been here. Why, I couldn't understand. I had given instructions to leave her and Mason be, but the nurses, especially that Lauren who'd tried to seduce me during the first few days of Bella's stay here.

"Hey Bells." Bella's eyes grew wider as she took in the frame of my best friend standing behind his wife. He could defiantly be a scary guy if you didn't know him.

"Um, hi," she watched them cautiously. I couldn't blame her. Rosalie was what you expected to see in a Victoria's Secret Catalog and Emmett was bigger than a body builder. Separately they were intimidating, together, they could almost be too much.

"Bella," I pulled her attention to me, knowing she'd be a little shocked, "This is your friend Rosalie and her husband Emmett."

Emmet looked at me, "Man, now that hurts." He looked back at Bella. "I'm not just Rose's husband. I've been your big brother for the last eight years."

Bella scrunched her eyebrows, "Are you my husband's brother?"

His laughter boomed through the room, "I guess you could say that. We've been like brothers since we were residents together in this hospital."

Rose sat down on the bed with Bella and rubbed her arm, "Ignore Emmett, he's full of himself."

Bella tried to concentrate on Rosalie, I'm sure trying to figure out how someone like her could possibly fit into her life. "Will you tell me something?" Rose nodded. "Tell me how we met or something we do or have done together."

Rosalie glanced at me before speaking. "We met right here in the hospital, though I'd actually seen you here several years before, and I'm sad to admit that I didn't like you at first." She looked deeply into Bella's eyes, trying to gauge her reaction. "It was ten years ago, before either of our husbands were even out of medical school. Before I'd even met Emmett." She reached back and clasped Emmett's hand. This was a hard story for her to tell, and that fact that she was willing to open old wounds just showed how much she really loved Bella.

"At the time, I was engaged to Royce King." She winced slightly at his name, but moved on. "I was here for a routine check up and I was sitting in the waiting room. That's when I saw you."

She laughed without humor. "It took me years to figure out why I didn't like you immediately. I was so jealous of you. You were rolled into the waiting room. There was bandaging over half of your visible skin. Even though you were in obvious pain, you were so happy. Dr. Cullen rolled you out to his son who leaned down to kiss you. You were both laughing like fools." A short laugh escaped her lips, but it sounded as if it might have been a sob. "Apparently, you were actually in the hospital visiting your now father-in-law and tripped in the waiting room and managed to bruise and cut most of your skin."

She looked down and Bella reached for her, "It was Royce wasn't it?" Bella looked deeply into her eyes. "He hurt you."

Rose nodded, tears in her eyes. "I was jealous of how happy you were, I thought I had the perfect life. I didn't think happiness was an option. I didn't know there were men who love the women they were with. I'd never seen what you had, and it hurt. I had thought that Royce was everything that I wanted. He was rich and handsome, and we would have made the most beautiful babies together. And that was really all I'd ever wanted."

"Did we talk?" Bella stroked Rosalie's arms comfortingly.

Rose shook her head, "I didn't talk to you until two years later. I actually met Emmett through you."

Emmett stepped in here, giving his wife a moment to gain her composure again. Rosalie hated to appear weak, even in front of us, and she knew that she'd been weak in letting Royce treat her the way that he had. "You were comin' to see my buddy, but you didn't make it far before Eric and Tyler got a hold of you."

"Whoa, wait," Bella threw her hands up, and I could see the confusion clearly written on her face, "who are Tyler and Eric?"

I spoke up out of irritation, "They're two male nurses who prey on the girlfriends and sometimes even the wives of residents and, in your case, doctors. Having a relationship with a resident is hard, nearly impossible. They give the girls a shoulder to cry on when they can no longer handle the pressure."

Emmett nodded, feeling the same anger toward them that I felt, "I'm surprised they haven't tried to get in here. Even after your childrens' births, they tried to get you to jump ship on my buddy."

Emmett and I exchanged a glance. They wouldn't dare try to get to her with me around. Especially after the good talk that I had with them after Mason's birth. Not that I did much talking. It was more like them cowering in the corner as I yelled at them, Emmett's massive frame looming behind me.

Bella looked between Rose and Emmett with a confused look, "But how did that lead to you two meeting?"

Rose's expression was much more confident, more like the Rosalie that we had all come to know and love. "After Royce and I separated, I worked on my self confidence. I realized that I couldn't be someone who others could take advantage anymore. And I couldn't hope that my looks would be enough to get me through life. So when I saw those two bugging you, I interfered."

"Which of course is usually my job," Emmett interrupted.

Bella started laughing and we all turned to look at her.

"What?" Rosalie asked with a smile on her face as well as a few giggles slipping through her lips. Bella's happiness was contagious.

"Their faces. Once they caught sight of you, their faces went completely blank. They didn't even know what to say." She turned to Emmett, "That's when you walked by. You stopped to take care of them for me, but they were so stunned by Rose that they didn't pay attention to you."

I smiled at Rose, and she smiled back as Bella looked down at Mason, now sleeping in her arms. Bella looked back up at Rose, "What else?"

I watched Rose's face as she thought through what else to say, "What do you want to know?"

Bella blushed, I wondered, as I often wondered, what she was thinking. "Tell me something about my husband."

Rose threw me a smug look. I stared back hard at her, trying to convey my wish that she not give away my identity. "Your husband's being an idiot right now. If he was smart, he'd tell you about all of this himself."

"Rose," I watched Bella use the power of her eyes, "Please"

Rosalie stuttered out a laughed, "You are dangerous, woman." She took a deep breath. "I've never seen two people act the way you two do around each other. If you're in the same room, you drift toward each other. It's like gravity, if one of you moves the other one does too. You don't even have to know that the other is in the room."

Bella rocked Mason gently, because he had woken and was starting to cry. "My mother says the same thing. It worried her at first, but she was so distracted by how attractive he was that it didn't bother her for long."

She looked over at me and my heart leaped. "Do you have Mason's bottle? I think he's hungry."

I turned to the counter to hide my disappointment. I needed for her to remember, because the way that my hopes kept getting squashed were going to kill me. I picked up Mason's bottle and ran it under hot water before giving it to her, "Thank you." Our fingers skimmed against each other, and the all too familiar hum of electricity shot through my body. Her eyes shot to mine for a moment, but then she looked down at Mason immediately, ignoring what I knew she could fell.

She fed Mason while she and Rose talked, not looking at me once. Emmett walked over to me and patted me on the shoulder. "Man, can't you see the way she's looking at you?"

I glanced at Emmett before returning my gaze back to Bella. "She's barely looked at me the entire time you've been here."

"That's because she's scared to. It's in her eyes bro. She's afraid that if she looks at you, we'll be able to tell that she has the hots for you. She knows we're close to her husband. She doesn't want us to see the guilty thoughts she thinks she's having."

I looked at Emmett trying not to laugh, "And how can you tell that?"

Emmett cocked an eyebrow seeing my disbelief, "She's never been hard to read. It's written all over her face. You need to tell her before it kills her."

I sighed and closed my eyes, "She's so close, Emmett. She's remembering so much." I pinched the bridge of my nose, "It may be wrong, but I need her to remember on her own."

Emmett let the subject drop, which I was thankful for. There was a part of me, a part that was growing stronger every day, that just wanted to tell her. I hated not knowing how much longer it would be before I could finally hold her in my arms, before I could kiss her. It wasn't like the last time I lost her, when we moved her in high school, because she was still here. But I could feel the old familiar clawing in my stomach and the pain in my chest at the realization that she wasn't here, not really.

The rest of the day, Emmett and Rose sat with Bella talking about Alexis and Jane. Rose was supposed to be infertile, because of an accident involving Royce, so the birth of the twins was the happiest moment of her life. Rosalie had never told me what it was that had happened, but Emmett told me that it was terrible enough that he was surprised that she was able to recover from it, both physically and emotionally.

Rose talked about her girls whenever she could, to whoever would listen and sometimes those who didn't want to. She was the proudest mother on the PTA, a soccer mom to the extreme. And we were all so happy for her, because being mother was all that she'd ever wanted.

Eventually, Emmett and Rosalie had to go. Alexis and Jane were staying with some friends tonight, so they'd been able to stay later than they would have been on any other night, and of course Emmett and I were able to get the visitor hours waved. When they did leave, it was so late, that Bella fell asleep almost immediately after.

I held Mason in my arms and watched my Bella sleep. I wasn't really sleeping anymore. I couldn't. Without Bella in my arms, I couldn't quite get comfortable. And if I did find sleep, I was cold and lonely even in my dreams.

"Edward?" Her voice rang clearly through the quiet room.

"Hmm?" I knew she was sleeping, but I responded anyway. I would always be there when she called me.

She sighed happily in her sleep, settling back on the pillow as if she'd been uncomfortable before knowing that I was there. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too, my beautiful Bella," and as long as Bella's love was with me, I'd be able to get through this, get through anything.


	10. Always You

I watched Bella as she held Mason. It had become an advantage for both of us to have him here. Bella got to be with our son all day and I got to be with him at night. He seemed so much happier to have us both that his little emerald eyes actually sparkled.

It had been over a week since Renesmee's visit and I could tell that she missed her. We hadn't discussed the visit yet, because I was afraid to draw attention to the obvious similarities between the baby boy in her arms and myself. But I needed to know how much of her memory had been tapped.

I looked at her over my clipboard as she fed Mason with a hospital bottle. "Bella, I want to ask you about some things that you seem to be remembering recently."

She looked up at me, her brow scrunching in a way that let me know she was a little wary to do so. "Okay, what exactly do you want to talk about?"

"Anything you remember. I'm hoping that by looking at them more closely we might be able to get other memories to work their way out." I tried to explain my reasoning, because she didn't want to seem to talk about it. I wandered what it was that she was so afraid of saying.

Bella nodded. "That makes sense. The thing is, I'm not sure I remember anything. Sometimes I worry that I'm creating memories to make myself feel better."

I shook my head, "I've heard some of the things that you're remembering, and they're all pretty dead on. Just tell me about something. Talk about Mason." He was the first thing I thought about since he was in my line of sight. I realized almost immediately, though, that this may not have been a good idea. I was still hoping that she wouldn't notice our eyes.

Her gaze drifted to Mason and they stared at each other for a few moments before she spoke. "Mason wasn't born in a hospital. I didn't want to go to the hospital, so I forced my husband to do the delivery at home." Bella had spent far too much time in hospitals and decided that our son should be born in the comfort of our home.

I nodded to encourage her to go on. "He's quiet for a baby. Even more so than Renesmee who all my friends who had children at the time told me was the quietest baby they'd ever met. Obviously, she's picked up some of Alice's loud habits." I laughed at the mixture of annoyance and adoration in her voice.

"He's only been sick once, but it was the scariest moment of my life. Carlisle said that we were blessed that we didn't lose him. His temperature was so high." As small tear slid down her cheek as she pressed her lips to Mason's forehead.

"Why don't you tell me about Renesmee?" I gripped the counter behind me so tightly that I could feel it give a little under the pressure. I couldn't watch her cry when there was no way for me to comfort her.

She laughed, "Renesmee was an adventure from the very beginning. The placenta detached while I was bent over picking something up. Thank God we were already at the hospital. An emergency C-section was performed and she came out perfect."

She'd yet to look up at me from Mason's eyes, and it was probably for the best. Even though I hated not being able to see her eyes, she would be able to see that I hadn't composed myself yet form her tears. "She's only four years old and she's already got the eye of every boy in her pre-school class. She's had more flowers picked for her since she was born than dresses that Alice buys in one shopping trip." She shuddered slightly. Obviously, shopping with Alice was not a memory that she could block.

"Renesmee will only eat fruity pebbles for breakfast because Charlie told her she looked like Pebbles from the Flintstones. She's never even strayed to coco pebbles. She likes to sit in my lap and pretend that she's reading with me when I have a Jane Austin book in hand." The smiled on Bella's lips grew as she spoke.

"She was so excited when Mason was born, even though she wanted a baby sister. She would help me change his diaper and warm his bottle. She would sit in the nursery when she didn't think that I was around and tell him all about the world outside of his crib. I never had siblings, so I didn't know that the bond could be so strong."

"What do you remember about your husband?" I whispered, almost afraid to ask. If she didn't remember anything, it would absolutely kill me.

She looked up at me and there were tears in her eyes, "I remember everything, but nothing. I can't remember him, but I remember things about him. Things that he'd do or say. The way he'd act."

I waited quietly for her to continue. I wanted to hear something, anything that she remembered about how much I loved her. "I remember that he would hum to me each night before we went to sleep. It was always the same tune. Something he'd written for me when we were young. Though it'd become a rare occasion, I loved to hear him play the piano." Before med school, I'd wanted to do nothing but sit behind the keys of the piano with Bella and let my emotions fall on the keys.

"He had a way of making me feel so beautiful. I've always been so plain, but he looked at me in a way that made me forget, that made me feel like I might actually deserve to be with him." She had never been plain. She didn't know how many times in high school I'd caught one of the guys staring at her, or how many guys I'd knocked out in college because of the way they'd talked about her like they were going to try something.

"He was always so worried about me." She laughed. "I had a habit of finding something to trip over on a flat, stable surface. I could end up in the ER with no more help than my own two feet." She laughed again, it sounded so beautiful, even more so because she was talking about me, about us.

"One time, I…" She blushed as she cut off the story.

"One time you what?" I whispered tentatively.

Bella shook her head back and forth while looking anywhere but at me, "That's not a story I want to tell."

I watched as her blush deepened in color. I wondered if she was remembering the time that she decided to try to risk seducing me in heels. It had been early in our marriage, before she became pregnant with Renesmee. She'd walked toward me at my desk and ended up slipping and knocking her head on the side of my chair. Running her to the hospital in her negligee had been quite an experience.

I watched as she burped Mason and placed him back in the crib next to her bed. She looked back up at me and her eyes were filled with tears. "Why can't I remember him? I remember so much of my life. I remember living in Phoenix and moving to Forks. I remember my college roommates Jessica and Angela. I remember getting a job as a vet tech under the supervision of Dr. Embry Call." The tears were streaming down her face.

"I can remember everything we did together. I can remember the pain of the separation when his parents moved him here." She was practically yelling at me.

"I can remember dancing with him at Forks High's proms. I can remember what it feels like for him to hold me. I can remember him proposing to me in our meadow which we'd found on an afternoon when I convinced him to ditch class because he was getting too stressed out." I sat through her rage afraid to speak.

"I remember our wedding day. I was a mess until I saw him at the altar. My world finally fell into place as Angela's father pronounced us husband and wife. I remember making love to him every chance I had."

She dropped her head into her hands. Her body shook violently with the sobs that I could hear in her broken words. "But I can't see him. No matter how hard try he's not there". She pulled her face up to look at me, accusations in her eyes. "It's always you. When I try to think of my husband, I see you and it's driving me crazy. The dances, the proposal, the wedding, every touch, every kiss, it's always you."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Alice had been right. Rosalie had been right. Emmett had been right. I had been torturing her.

I dropped the clipboard and was immediately sitting on the bed with her, not caring as it clattered to the floor noisily behind me. I wrapped my arms around her and claimed her lips. An electric shock rocked through me as her lips moved with mine. Our bodies knew each other. Our bodies called to each other.

Her fingers snaked their way into my hair and tugged lightly. I moaned softly into her mouth as she opened it to deepen the kiss. Our tongues met and my whole being came undone. I needed this, I needed her, and she was giving everything to me, not holding anything of herself back.

When my lungs could stand it no longer, I pulled back for air. "You are such a jerk, Edward," she gasped.

My eyes locked on hers. They were bright and clear. She was back, my Bella was back. "Please, say it again."

She smiled leaning her forehead against mine, knowing what I desperately needed. "You are such a jerk Edward Anthony Cullen." She sighed, "But I love you."

I leaned forward and nipped her bottom lip, which was swollen from out kiss, "And you, Isabella, are my life. I cannot and will not live without you. You have my heart, and when you leave, you take it with you. Without you, I'm nothing." I was still breathing heavily when I finished speaking.

I had to keep in mind that we were still at the hospital. Our bodies begged to be touched, to be connected, but I knew we'd be heard. I gently leaned her back against the pillow and kissed her forehead, trying to calm my body's response to her. "You should have done that a week ago, Edward."

I was so dazed I couldn't process what she'd just told me, "I should have done what?"

She laughed, "Kissed me, Edward." God, I loved the sound of my name coming off her lips. "The moment our lips met, everything came back. It was like a wall had been torn down."

She pushed a piece of hair from my forehead, "No, it was like lightning had struck, casting light on everything I couldn't see."

I took her face between both of my hands and placed a gentle kiss upon her lips, "I'll have to remember that for next time."

As I knew she would, she burst into a fit of giggles. I pulled her into my arms again and just held her. Though my body was begging for more, this was enough. I had dreamt for weeks of simply holding her. Of hearing her say my name.

"Edward?" I pulled back to look into her eyes without letting go of her. I wasn't sure I would ever let her out of my arms again. "Can we go home now?"

I smiled and pressed my lips to her forehead, to each of her eyelids, to her nose, finally taking her lips. "I think we have to, I can't take you here."

I saw the glint in her eyes and the devilish smile that my body knew all too well. She tugged at my tie and pulled out her most innocent expression. "Dr. Cullen, I'm in a great deal of pain." She looked into my eyes pleadingly. "I **need** your expertise to help me find relief."

I had to try and breathe. "I swear, Bella, you will be the death of me."


	11. Epilogue

9 months later

* * *

"Edward *huff* I'm gonna *huff* kill you." I watched as my wife began her final pushes for what was probably our last child.

"Bella, love, you're doing great. You're almost done. Just a few more AAAAHHHH." I lost all sense of what I was saying as she squeezed my hand with more strength than such a tiny woman should have.

The pain in my hand subsided and I heard muffled cries from the other end of the chair. I breathed a sigh of relief. "It's a boy." My father said.

He turned to me with a questioning look. "Son, do you wanna cut the chord?"

I nodded stupidly as I absorbed what he'd just said. Another son. Bella had given me another son. I kissed her forehead in wonder before taking the scissors from Angela.

I cut the chord in a haze and watched as they took my son to be cleaned. Bella tugged at my arm until I sat with her on the bed. I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and just smiled.

Angela came back in the room with a bundle of blue blankets. She placed our son in Bella's arms and smiled at us with a whispered congratulations.

I looked down into the grey eyes of my son before looking back up to my wife. I brushed a sweaty lock of hair from her forehead. "He's perfect."

Her answering smile knocked me off my feet. "I know."

He quietly looked up at us as Bella rocked him lightly. Entranced by his gaze, I reached my finger out for him to clasp. I let out a small gasp at how strong his grip already was.

I smiled down at my beautiful new son and watched him try to imitate the action in wonder before yawning and loosening his grip upon my finger.

Once the perfect little boy's eyes were closed I leaned down to press my lips against his forehead. Then I turned to his mother and took her lips with my own. "You are so beautiful."

She let out a little laugh so as not to wake the sleeping child in her arms. "You can say that all you want, but you're not getting another one of these."

Of course I'd been right. But that wasn't important, because I didn't need anything else. Bella had given me more than I could have ever wished for. She'd given me herself. She'd come back to me when I thought that I'd lost her forever. And then she'd given me the greatest gift, life created from us. "What should we call him?"

Without hesitation she answered, "Anthony."

I turned to look back at her, "Anthony?"

She nodded her head, "His name should be Anthony."

I tried to read her face. There was something in her eyes that I couldn't read. "Are you making fun of me?"

She surprised me by laughing and leaning forward to place a quick kiss on my lips. "I'm not making fun of you, Edward." She looked deeply into my eyes before speaking again. "I have no idea how hard it must have been for you to not tell me who you were. I wouldn't have been able to sit across the room without throwing myself at you."

She pulled my face to hers and kissed me more deeply. "You were stronger than I could have ever been. I'm so thankful that you didn't give up hope on me, and," she looked down at our son, "he's proof of that. I want to name him after you."

I think my mouth was hanging open. "There is no way that I could deserve you." I tried to breathe as she continued to smile at me.

I watched as she shifted and held him out to me. I took him carefully and nodded, "Okay, Anthony it is. Anthony Michael Cullen." He made a humming noise in his sleep as if in agreement. I looked up into those smiling, chocolate, brown eyes and felt my heart swell. My life, in this moment, was perfect.


End file.
